Hi there beautiful,
Now Im not saying that because I’m you or in a conceded, “You’re so beautiful”, way but merely because I don’t think you see that (I’ll come back to this point). I know that right now, you’re probably looking at yourself wondering what else could go wrong… Wondering how many more tears you are going to cry over that STUPID, (annoying, does not deserve you, arrogant, asshole, Man dirt) boy who will come running back to you; trust me. Wondering what you’ll amount to in life. Wondering what ten more years of life would be like, and who that version of you would be.
I’m not one for spoiling a great movie, but since you’ll live it anyways, I might as well save you some sleepless nights and wasted anxiety.
Today’s society is so wrapped around the word “Next”, and I think that right now, you’re trapped in the weird ‘in between’ of wondering when your moment will come. “Next”: what I mean by this is, today, right now, our generation is so driven by what’s new, who’s the next “it” person is, data, data, data, downloading and streaming our way to oblivion. We are so caught up in making our lives seemingly perfect on our social media, that we then start to blend reality with just fragments of moments put together to make this mega “me monster” that stomps through Instagram. With so much pressure, not from anyone else but our selves, its hard to find the light at the end of the tunnel. This society is built up of images that we created of ourselves… and then one day, we started to want more.. More followers, more comments, more likes, so we started to compete with ourselves (not in a good way). To out do the last uploaded version of ‘you’ 4 hours ago. Watching through screens, of someone else living their life while you are sitting in bed. With a society thats so free, yet so not, its hard to find your place.. I get it. But keep chugging along little train, you’ll get to your next stop soon.
Its a crazy thought to think that when you first meet someone, instead of saying “Hello, my name is…whats yours?” the introduction goes a little like “Hey, whats your Instagram handle?” Its so hard to find a genuine connection with anyone anymore, not because theres no more genuine people left but merely because our generation doesn’t know how to connect on another level other than connecting Instagram handles to make sure the other person is tagging you right. Now I guess the question is how do you manage through this jungle of what is now our world. First, take a deep breath. What I’ve learned the most this year is that everything comes at you when you are ready. If you are sitting there wondering when the 4 years and 1 diploma is going to get you the dream job you’ve been eyeing, or when you’ll actually make the varsity team, or when the next step in your life is going to make its, much needed appearance…well darling, everything happens when you are ready. I believe this so much because I’ve had the mindset that even if the ‘thing’ I’ve been praying to happen, did happen, right now.. would I be ready for everything that comes with it. And for a very long time, I had to step back from my feeling of ‘want’ and really look at what I ‘need’ and am ready for. Which most of the time has made me understand why certain things happen or don’t happen.
Second, live your life as though you already have achieved the desired result. Now that doesn’t mean go spend your last hundred of going out because you’re living as though you already made your first million. What I mean by this statement is really a mental state of mind. I know that sometimes when you want something so bad and its not happening the way you want, it kind of feels like the tunnel is getting more narrow and the light you once saw at the end of it is getting dim. So its human nature to panic, start walking or crawling faster.. then you find yourself stuck in such a tight space. In the panic and stress to get to where you want, you loose sight of why you started on that journey in the first place. You start to reach for anything immediately in front of you, not really looking over if that thing you’re grabbing will eventually hurt you or end up pushing you further back. The term, “Stay Hungry, but never Thirsty” really hits home with me. Get into the mind set of being at the place you set a goal for yourself. Live your life, knowing that everyday the hard work you put in will pay off. You WILL get to the place you want, and it may be even better than what you had envisioned in the first place.
Third, be selfish. Yup, you just read right. I just told you to be selfish. For a person who is always there for someone else. Always making time for other people, even though you haven’t had time for yourself. For a person that loves other more than they sometimes seem to care about yourself. YOU, you need to learn how to be selfish. Think about what is it that is going to make you happy. Its an amazing feeling to help others in need but think about the sense of accomplishment you’ll have when you do something for yourself. I think this year has been my realization that I have to love myself first. How can you have anything to give if you, yourself are empty? Start with yourself my love, you need to be full and fulfilled to give the amount of love and happiness you want to give to the people around you. That even leads to the faketicious
Back to the “you are beautiful” statement. Okay, heres the dead honest truth. You, my love are B-E-A-UTIFUL. From the way you wake up grumpy in the morning before you take your first sip of coffee, to your kind, giving heart that you wear on your sleeve and that has been ran over by (many) man-dirt men that will get whats coming to them. What is beautiful about you is how you always find time for those you love, but hey, don’t forget about yourself from time to time okay? We need a little ‘me’ time too… you can’t always be super girl. What’s even more beautiful is your curiosity about the world. Maybe that can lead you on some strange, even dangerous situations but theres always going to be a little angel protecting you. Those crazy story will make for amazing conversations with the people you will meet who will only want the best for you. You will run into people who will want to see you fail, who will talk about you negatively, who will try to take away your shine. But don’t fall into it. A star will always be a star, even if someone puts a blanket over it. Wake up everyday and remind yourself of the little things you love, of the things you want to see before you go. Wake up with a purpose, always find the beauty in the world even if its grey outside. Don’t forget where you came from and who your parents raised you to be. Love unconditionally… the saddest thing in the world would be not giving yourself the chance to feel. And remember, you are beautiful. Your smile, makes the world a little brighter and no one else will ever be you, so thats your power.
With that being said, I hope you're excited about whats to come... and who you will become. Remember to travel often, smile even more... and be happy. Remember ever moment. Don't be so eager to get to the next chapter. You'll get there. Enjoy every moment you're living. It's a part of the incredible story that's yours.
love,
j.
